Wednesday, December 01, 2004


A report came out yesterday (or was it the day before) stating people who commute to work suffer more stress than a fighter pilot. After today I tend to agree. At least fighter pilots can blow the crap out of anyone who gets in their way. Motorists don't have that option, unfortunately. Wish we did so the next time I see a fender bender blocking up traffic for miles I can hit a button and destroy the wreckage. If the person is too ignorant to give space for the car in front then they don't deserve a vehicle.

As commuters we could stifle the insurance companies by one simple thing; paying attention. It's driver's ed 101. Keep your eye on the freaking road and put that damn cell phone down. Who the hell is that important that you have to talk with at 6:00 in the morning? If the call is important then for God's sake use a hands free device. In reality, is the phone call that important? As a society we managed without cell phones before. We've grown dependent like a junkie on crack.

"I have to call to make sure the family is awake." Hitch your ass down to your local Wal-Mart or Target and buy a freaking alarm clock. Can't afford it? Reduce the minutes on your plan. Simple. You won't need the minutes if your family can become more self sufficient instead of relying on you all the time.

"I'm calling in to work." Why? You're on the way there. The place will still be present when you arrive. If your boss is that much of a butt and chews your ass like a dog on milk bone underwear then maybe you need to find a new place to work. Seems a little stressful to me. If you are the boss, then lighten up and give your employees a break. If you show some restraint then your workers will be more productive.

"I have a sick relative." Then by God you need to be WITH them.

See, there is no reason to even have a cell phone. But let's look at a few more "excuses."

"What if I break down?" Valid point. At least youre not driving and talking. In the good old days people would see someone broke down and offer a helping hand. I have yet to see that in the last five years. People are just too busy. Sad.

"I need to stay in contact with my spouse." This is laughable. It's just a homing device disguised like a phone. If there is that mistrust in a relationship that either spouse needs to keep tabs on the other, then seek some counseling. There are major issues there.

"I need to stay in contact with my child." This is the only valid reason I could see. But kids will abuse the privilege. They're kids. If my child is in a situation (broke down, at the Communist public school, in a sticky situation) I want to be assured they can reach me, at any time. My child is my responsibility, not society.

There are other distractions that take our eyes off the road. There is a simple solution. Keep your hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. And look out for the crazy MF driving full speed on the onramp. He's got a cell phone to his ear.


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